


Glitter Farce

by Psyga315



Series: Mini-Bridged [2]
Category: Kamen Rider Decade, スマイルプリキュア! | Smile PreCure!
Genre: Abridged Series, April Fools' Day, Archtypism, Donald Trump Related Humor, Elections, Gen, Humor, Political Humor, Racism, Riots, Screenplay/Script Format, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-28 09:54:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6324532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psyga315/pseuds/Psyga315
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukasa and the crew watch an episode of Glitter Force after the 2016 elections between Donald Duck and Frank Underwood prove too much for them to handle. </p><p>What they watch is an episode where the girls prove that, yes, compared to the troll/oni, they're the dimmest of heroes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glitter Farce

**Donald Duck** : WAAAAAAK! Hello and welcome to-

{he looks around and notices it’s not Journey Through The Abridged}

 **Donald Duck:** Erm… Don’t we usually have an April Fool’s episode for this?

 **Psyga:** Nah… I hate to constantly remind myself that I only made one installment of Journey Through The Abridged in the span of an entire year, so I’m gonna do something different.

 **Donald Duck:** Like what?

{He sees himself in a business suit, behind him being a slogan saying “Can’t Stuck The Duck!”}

 **Donald Duck:** Really? We’re really going with this?

 **Psyga:** Hey, gotta be relevant somehow, right?

 **Donald Duck:** But politics!?

 **Psyga:** Come on, if I sit on the joke a few more months, it’ll be staler than [insert actor here]’s acting!

 **Donald Duck:** Fine! Alright… Ahem… Americans, I’m building a wall to keep the Heartless and Nobodies out!

{people cheer}

 **Donald Duck:** And… Um…

{he looks to Psyga for suggestions, only for him to shrug}

 **Psyga:** Building walls was all I had in mind.

 **Donald Duck:** Why’s that?

 **Psyga:** For this joke!

{cuts to one of Donald Duck’s walls… only for a sudden appearance from the Colossial Titan as Guren no Yumiya plays in the background}

 **Donald Duck:** Really?

 **Psyga:** Really really.

 **Donald Duck:** What else are we going to joke about?

 **Demyx:** You are oppressing my people! We have hearts! We aren’t heartless monsters!

{behind him is Axel burning an orphanage}

 **Axel:** BURN ORPHANS! BUUUUUURRRRRN!!!

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Tsukasa:** You know, it’s funny. This can pretty much sum up Kamen Rider Drive if you replace the Nobodies with Roidmudes.

 **Natsumi:** Low blow.

 **Tsukasa:** Hey, this author’s going for a low blow with a politic joke!

 **Yuusuke:** Let’s just switch the channel before things get stupid.

{he changes the channel}

* * *

**Emily:** Hey guys! We should go find a secret base!

 **Kelsey:** Yeah! Let’s go to that secret place that only the six of us know about to decide where our secret base should be!

 **Lily:** Wait… shouldn’t we just use _that_ for our secret base?

{The four all look to Lily and just laugh}

 **April:** Yeah, like _that_ ’ll ever happen!

{One pointless episode later and they’re all using the secret place that only the six of them know about as their base}

 **Chloe:** Well what do you know, it _did_ happen.

 **Candy:** This is a plot that actually happened in the show, guys. I swear to Princess Euphemi- I mean _Euphoria_ that I am not making this up.

 **Emily:** By the way, what are we supposed to use these powers for?

 **Kelsey:** Yea, I mean, what do we _do_ as magical girls who fight evil monsters and collect strange magic trinkets that help us save the world?

 **Candy:** … I can’t believe _this_ also happened in Glitter Force. The funny thing is that no monster zapped you guys with a memory erasing beam.

* * *

**Eijiro:** Damn it, this channel’s stuck on Sailor Moon!

 **Natsumi:** Wait, how are we accessing a Netflix show on TV?

 **Tsukasa:** Blame Nick.

{suddenly Nick from Mystic Force}

 **Nick:** Hey, I may have stolen 90% of the character development from my team mates, but I didn’t cause this!

 **Tsukasa:** No, the _other_ Nick. Pretty sure in their ‘brilliance’ of extending cartoons with dumb ideas and reducing the number of episodes of well-preforming shows down to a meager number, they somehow picked up Smile Precure.

 **Yuusuke:** Don’t you mean Glitter For-

{Tsukasa bitchsmacks Yuusuke}

 **Tsukasa:** Smile Precure.

 **Natsumi:** Hey, wait a minute, aren’t you supposed to be confronting TheBee in that abandoned warehouse?

 **Tsukasa:** Natsumi, the episode after that has me right back here anyways without any scene building on what happened previously. I just suddenly pop up here for no reason. So it fits in canon. Now, let’s waste some time and riff on Smile Precure.

* * *

{le house}

 **Superhero Alarm Clock:** WAKEY WAKEY! EGGS AND BAKEY!

 **Lily’s Mom:** Actually, it’s waffles!

 **Lily** : WAFFLES!?

 **Lily’s Mom** : Naaaah, April Fools!

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Tsukasa** : … We’re doing this? What. The. Shi-

* * *

**Glitter Force**

**Mini-Bridged**

**Glitter Farce**

* * *

{le evil lair}

 **Brute:** Dudes, I’m making a portrait of how cool I am!

 **Ulric:** Yeah! You’re totally a badass! Even though I’m basically a wolf-man wearing a leather jacket, you are so big and scary!

 **Brute:** … Wait, it’s April Fools, isn’t it?

 **Brooha** : Yeah.

 **Brute:** Well screw you two! I’m gonna bring an unhappy ending to this world to show you all how strong I am!

{he leaves}

 **Ulric:** Wow, it doesn’t take much to convince him to be the villain this episode, is there?

 **Brooha:** I was going to troll him a bit more, but hey, at least we have a day without him.

* * *

{le school filled with nothing but brown-haired, brown-eyed children. No, seriously, look at all the students sans the main ones and you’ll see people who have nothing but brown hair and brown eyes}

 **Emily:** Sup, Lily!

 **Lily:** Hey, I’m quitting the Glitter Force.

 **Emily:** Lol, wut? Lily, we’re too generic of a magical girl show to have status quo changing stuff like you leaving the team. Sure, we can kill you off, but only if you’re brought back to life by the end of the episode.

 **Lily:** What? No! I’m moving away!

{Aaaaand she’s gone}

 **Lily:** Aaaaaw crap, I didn’t even get to fool her!

* * *

{in the hall with Red Sayaka}

 **Kelsey:** Who?

{You}

 **Kelsey:** Oh.

 **Emily** : Hey Kelsey. Lily tried to fool me into thinking she’s leaving the Glitter Force and-

 **Kelsey:** She’s what!?

 **Emily** : Oh God damn it…

 **Kelsey:** She can’t quit the Glitter Force!

{all the generic brown-haired, brown-eyed students look at her… Is it too low of a blow to call them the Genaryan race?}

 **BHBES 1:** Huh? What’s a Glitter Force?

 **BHBES 2:** I dunno. We muggles don’t really know about crap like that. Hey, remember when those digital monsters attacked the city all those years ago and now we just suddenly forgot about them when they just start to show up again?

 **BHBES 1:** Oh yeah, that was a riot!

 **BHBES 2:** And that time aliens took over the Earth for like… five seconds and we totally attacked them as an army led by comic relief? And how we forgot _that_ too by the time demons hijacked a hotel?

 **BHBES 1:** No, I think that was just Ms. Beaverwood that forgot.

 **BHBES 2:** Oh yeah!

 **Kelsey:** Well this is going to totally suck!

 **Emily:** Hey, Lily’s coming up! Maybe she’ll tell us she’s kidding.

 **Lily:** Guys, what I said… It was-

 **Kelsey:** I’m going to miss you soooooo muuuuuuch!!!

 **Emily:** Or you’re just gonna ruin every moment she has to tell us about it…

 **Teacher:** Alright, come on, time for class. Wait, you people don’t even learn anything so why am I even here?

* * *

{le classroom}

 **Teacher:** I’m going to leave this room because I know that if I just give you guys actual lectures, you’re just going to ignore me and talk about stuff like monsters and McGuffins. I’m looking at you, Protagonist!

{She glares at a guy in the back seat by the window}

 **Protagonist:** But I’m clearly wanting to study! Please! At least give me _one_ algebra problem!

 **Teacher:** Idiot, you know writers can’t do math!

{she leaves}

 **Kelsey:** So Lily’s moving away.

 **Chloe and April:** Wait wut?

 **Lily:** I can explain-

 **Chloe:** You poor thing!

 **Lily** : … Well I…

 **April:** We’ll make your last days here memorable!

 **Lily:** This is going to be one of _those_ days, isn’t it?

* * *

{le music room}

 **Lily:** Well, time to tell them the truth.

 **Chloe:** Don’t worry, we’re here for you.

 **Emily:** Wait, you didn’t catch that she said she’ll tell you guys the truth?

 **April:** Can’t you see we’re helping Lily here?

 **Kelsey:** Yeah, and she can’t really _leave_ the Glitter Force because she can just use the bookshelves to access the Library of Legends and teleport from there.

 **April:** Yeah, it’s such an awesome place. How come we didn’t make it our secret base?

 **Emily:** April, that _is_ our secret base. We just moved into a decorated stump inside the forest because it’s roomier.

 **Chloe:** Group hug!

{Sad music plays as the music teacher walks in. He is greeted with lots of cheering fans}

 **Jesse Katsopolis:** … What’s with the music?

{suddenly laughter}

* * *

{le rooftop}

 **Lily:** Okay, if they can’t listen through words, then perhaps drawings will work!

{suddenly wind blows it away}

 **Lily:** OH COME ON!

 **Kelsey:** Hey, wanna have a farewell party?

 **Lily:** Wat?

* * *

{le class room}

 **BHBES 1:** Bye! We’ll miss you!

 **Lily:** REALLY!?

 **Emily:** Apparently.

* * *

**Brute** : Alright! I’m just gonna raid this school and murderize the Glitter Force! That’ll show those guys how awesome I am!

{Suddenly he gets smacked in the face by the paper}

 **Brute:** Oh hey, one of the Glitter Force members is a liar. … How will that help me is anyone’s guess.

* * *

{back to le class room}

 **Chloe:** You mean a lot to these nameless background characters who all look the same and I’m not saying that because they’re Asian.

 **Emily:** Well, technically they’re not _all_ the same, I mean, they _do_ have different details…

 **April:** Doesn’t matter, they’re not going to speak.

 **BHBES 1:** Hey! Screw you! We can talk! And we have names! Look!

{He shows them a blackboard with all their goodbye messages written on them}

 **BHBES 1:** You main characters are all archetypist!

 **RHBES:** Yeah! And my hair is red, not brown!

 **BHBES 2:** LET’S START A RIOT TO SHOW THEM JUST HOW PEACEFUL WE ARE!

 **All the BHBES:** YEAH!

{they all leave and it’s just the five girls now}

 **Lily:** Well… that was awkward. I guess I can tell you girls the truth now and-

 **Brute:** AH SCREW ACTUALLY BEING ORIGINAL! TIME FOR ME TO DO THE SAME SHIT WE VILLAINS DO EVERY EPISODE AND MAKE PEOPLE DEPRESSED!

 **Lily** : OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!

{He puts paint on his book and everyone suddenly feel depressed.}

 **BHBES 1:** I’m too depressed to attack humanity and cause a revolution…

{Yeah. They just… feel depressed. There’s no future being rewritten, they just… feel depressed.}

 **Brute:** Now! This book will fill up with negative energy so that it’ll turn the Wheel of Doom one more click and-

 **Everyone:** WE KNOW ALREADY!

 **Brute:** … Fine.

 **Emily:** Alright… Transform girls.

 **Girls:** INSERT GLITTER CHARM!

**ACTIVATE! GLITTER PACT!**

**Girls:** ALL TOGETHER! GLITTER FORCE MAKEOVER!

{they transform… only for the footage to be sped up}

 **Kelsey:** Hey, what gives!

 **Tsukasa:** No one gives a crap for seeing the same thing over and over again!

 **Brute:** Now I’ll do something smart and tell you girls a big secret that one of you is hiding from the others!

 **Emily:** Wow, really? You’re not gonna send an easily defeatable monster at us that will give us a Glitter Charm which will eventually help us defeat you?

 **Brute:** APRIL FOOLS! Buffoon! Come on down!

 **Emily:** Of course.

 **Brute:** SURPRISED?

 **Emily:** NO! I’m not surprised!

 **Brute:** Um… Well, April Fools then!

{And he actually does a pretty cool tactic of calling the Buffoon’s attacks, only to say how he’s fooling them and having the Buffoon do something _else_ }

 **Kelsey:** These April Fool’s pranks are dumb!

 **April:** Yeah! You’re nothing but a liar and a cheater!

 **Chloe:** I’d be honestly betrayed if one of our own was April Fooling us!

 **Lily:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKKKKWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRDDDDDD!!!

 **Brute:** Oh, right, the smart thing. Yeah, one of you girls is lying!

 **Lily:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!

 **Emily:** Okay, it’s obvious you lied about moving away. We can trust you. I’ll never forget how you helped me out on my first day at school.

 **Lily:** Uh… I just said how I had a hamster named Emily. Kelsey did all the hard work with your first day. But whatever. April fools.

 **Everyone sans Brute and Lily:** WAAAAAAAT!? YOU FOOLED US ABOUT MOVING!?

 **Brute:** Uh… yeah. It’s April Fool’s day. I told you all about it. Did you guys just forget?

 **Emily:** You’re talking to a group of people who don’t know what magical girls are supposed to do, even after they just stopped monsters like you and had to be told what to do by some fluffy guy.

 **Brute:** Wait, there are people dumber than me? Wow, that actually changes my entire life! I’m actually happy now! Come on, Buffoon, let’s go back and celebrate the fact that I’m not the dumbest person in this show!

{They leave}

 **Lily** : Well… that happened.

 **Emily:** Well, at least everything is back to normal!

{Suddenly they see the background characters rioting}

 **Emily:** Oh, right. That.

{As the background characters break cars and bust windows, it fades to black with a message saying “Background Characters, the true threat in the foreground.”, it then cuts to Donald Duck as the bottom flap of his beak moves artificially}

 **Donald Duck:** {in a very deep voice that’s clearly not Donald Duck} I’m Donald Duck, and I approve this message! Make Disney Great Again!

* * *

{le photo studio}

 **Donald Duck:** WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK! I DID _NOT!_

 **Natsumi** : Donald Duck? What are you doing here?

 **Yuusuke:** And why aren’t you blowing up?

 **Donald Duck:** Because I have something to ask of Tsukasa. Tsukasa, will you help me meddle with this election?

 **Tsukasa:** … Oh… Yeah!

* * *

{le campaign office}

 **Advisor:** Mr. Underwood, ratings for Donald Duck are sky rocketing… You sure a negative ad campaign is worsening his condition?

 **Frank:** Well, I figure that we set him high on a pedestal so that when he screws up, his fall will be spectacular. {he looks to the camera} That and only idiots vote for a duck instead of Kevin Spacey.

 **Advisor:** Um… Who are you talking to?

 **Frank:** No one.

{Tsukasa busts in with Donald Duck}

 **Donald Duck:** You have gone too far!

 **Tsukasa:** **Sup!**

 **Frank:** Ah crap. {he looks again to the camera} I swear to God, if you play Benny Hill…

{[Sadly](https://youtu.be/tNBL5OMeuno?t=7s)… And so the two chase Frank all across town. A vast montage of places they run across include the dreaded Scooby Doo hallways, that microwaving hall from Metal Gear Solid 4, and even outer space, before finally ending in the subway}

 **Tsukasa:** **Time for a Rider Kick!**

** FINAL ATTACK RIDE: DE- DE- DE-DECADE! **

{he leaps up and gives Frank a rider kick right into the path of an oncoming subway}

 **Frank** : Oh sweet delicious irony!

{he gets run over}

 **Tsukasa:** **That was easy.**

{It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year plays}

 **Donald Duck:** You know, I learned something special today…

 **Tsukasa:** **What’s that, Donald Duck?**

 **Donald Duck:** I learned that this holiday is to be celebrated the same way people celebrate visitors peaking over their walls.

 **Tsukasa:** **And how’s that?**

 **Donald Duck:** RUN AND HIDE! WE MUST LIVE IN THE CAGES WE CALL WALLS!

{he runs off}

 **Tsukasa:** **… Yeah, people get fooled a lot on April Fools, so don’t be a fool, fool.**

THE END

[I was totally gonna end this with a joke about Super Sonico and Suzaku Kururugi ambushing Emily and draining her of her Glitter Force powers only for Edward Elric to save her, but I think you guys get the joke]


End file.
